Chapter 38
***
Sponsored by LC. Thank you ❤️ (3/8)
***
Roan, though physically superior to his peers, was still just a boy, and carrying her through the rugged woods was never going to be easy.
The exultation of having him all to herself faded. Instead, guilt that she had made him suffer began to eat away at Delnia.
"I'm sorry, I was so stubborn.”
Delnia muttered, burying her forehead in Roan's back. He didn't answer, so she couldn't tell if he heard her.
The woods were vast, and Delnia's mind had been foggy for some time, and she couldn't remember when they had returned to the castle.
It was two days later when she regained consciousness. She'd caught a cold and had a fever, Sophie had informed her, almost angrily.
When Dalnia asked her not to say anything to Roan since it was her fault, the real nagging started.
The sullen Delnia had grown tired of her nanny's nagging and absentmindedly turned to look out the window.
There, in the corner of the garden flower bed visible from her bedroom, was a small, vivid blue-purple shape.
It was far away, but she couldn't fail to recognize it. It was a Belfort anemone.
Delnia spent the next two days glued to the window watching the flower. As expected, the Belfort anemone wilted before she could get out of bed.
But that was okay. She'd gotten something more precious.
"Roan, did you transplant the Belfort anemone?”
"No.”
Roan denied it. But she knew him, the way he'd slipped in and out at night, secretly tending to the flower.
Who wouldn't want to step through the door of a heart that had been so firmly closed?
Young Delnia stood nervously in front of the door, waiting for it to open wide for her.
She had never felt so eager in her life. Even the waiting was lovely to her.
"So? Because the lady likes me, what do you want me to do? Is the noble young lady going to run away with the lowly servant like me?”
That was why when Roan sarcastically asked her one day, as if he couldn't stand her anymore, she nodded without hesitation.
"Yes. I’ll do it.”
"What?”
"I'll run away with you.”
“.............Do you even know what you're talking about?”
“Of course. I'm good anywhere, Roan. As long as I’m with you.”
Roan let out an incredulous laugh. He turned his head away from her, as if he wasn't going to put up with her nonsense anymore.
But Delnia was serious.
It wasn't that she hated Belfort, or the people there. Nor had she ever wanted to escape.
She just couldn't love anything fully.
Her father who wouldn’t pay attention to her. Her mother who would judge everything she did. A noblewoman's pride, which she wielded as her only weapon, but which sometimes cut Delnia to pieces.
Of all the things she loved but couldn't let go of, Roan the only one. She loved him more than anything. Being with him made her most happy.
It wasn't that she didn't value them, but she felt like she could leave them all behind. If only he was there.
At the time, she really did.
"Ah!"
A stinging pain in her fingertips snapped Delnia back to reality. It was the price she paid for being distracted while tending to the flower.
She dabbed at her finger, which was oozing dark red blood, with a cloth to staunch the bleeding. Luckily, she hadn't cut too deeply, and the bleeding stopped quickly.
She let out a shallow sigh and lowered her gaze to the flowers she had arranged. There were more than thirty irises in the arrangement.
"They look nothing alike."
They were all different in appearance, just the same color.
That alone was enough to make her feel sorry for herself for willingly drowning in the past.
However, there was a time when that was enough to keep her going.
Even if it was now so blackened with guilt and hatred that it was unrecognizable, even if it could never return to its pure and brilliant form.
Still, there was a time when she could cross over because of him.
Even if they no longer have any meaning, it didn't mean they never happened.
'Maybe not for you...................'
It was unlikely that Roan would have seen the flower and evoked the same memories as she had.
He was no longer the boy Delnia had known, the Roan she had known no longer existed.
But even as she thought that, she couldn't help but feel shaken. Moments that kept making her look back, weakening her resolve.
He probably didn’t remember it anyway, it was something he would rather forget, and she knew that.
And yet, she wanted to hold back the regrets that wouldn’t go away.
"Because Jack asked me to..................."
Finally summoning up the courage of her cowardice, Delnia held up a single flower she had trimmed.
It was she who had ruined those days. She's the one who ruined it, and she was the one who was still holding onto the shattered remnants.
If it was just a few flowers that mean nothing to Roan, then perhaps it was alright.
But it would still mean something to her.
Unable to contain her overwhelming emotions, Delnia impulsively gathered the flowers into her arms. The scent lingered in her nostrils, never quite the same.
***
Cloudy days when it looked like it was going to rain but never did were Roan's favorite weather.
It was easier than training in the sun, but most importantly, it left no room for nagging memories to surface.
So he was able to finish his morning workout and stay clear minded all the way home.
Roan realized it shortly after he stepped out of the bathroom and back into his bedroom.
It was the same room as it had been until he'd just returned home. His space, devoid of useless decorations, filled with only the things he needed.
It sat alone, bathed in light, in a neutral color scheme that forbade the intrusion of anything that wasn't useful.
Roan stood before it, his face expressionless.
Irises in a crystal vase bathed in a bluish glow.
He didn't need to ask who had done such a useless thing, for there was only one person he had called upon upon entering the mansion.
"....."
Roan's eyes darkened as he stared down at the vase in silence.
The girl who had insisted on going to see the same color flower as that one had taken control of his mind with such ease that he was helpless.
"Okay, we’ll go and come back quickly.”
She was stubborn, and when she was wrong, she changed her face as if she hadn't done it before.
He was clearly annoyed, and all he wanted to do was cater to her whims and be free of her as soon as possible.
"I'm sorry. I'm so stubborn.”
He couldn’t seem to get rid of the small , faint voice that seeped through the rain.
Why did the rhythmic pounding of his back, accompanied by his steady breathing, and the warmth that ran down his spine linger so long, making him do things he normally wouldn't have done?
"Roan, the Belfort anemone, you transplanted it, didn't you?
"No.”
Why was it that he could still so easily recall the face that chased after her with a knowing smile on her face, even though he denied it.
An indescribable feeling of unpleasantness washed over him, creeping up from his toes.
With a cautious gesture, the door opened.
Roan turned his gaze from the flower. The woman who had caused all this was stepping into his space.
"The vase is a little low on water."
Delnia explained in a hushed voice, explaining the reason for her brief absence. Sure enough, in her hand she held a small glass.
She walked over to the vase and carefully filled it with water.
The fragrance of fresh flowers wafted from her.
But what irritated him even more was the look on her face, as if she could get away with this abomination.
"You're not even funny."
Roan chewed on his words as if he were trying to wipe away something unpleasant.
Delnia's gaze shifted from the flowers to him. A sharp sneer tugged at the corners of the man's mouth as he stood there like a painting.
"I suppose you are in need of money quite urgently, huh?”
"What's that..................."
"That's what you do to try to get even with me."
With a twisted lip, Roan muttered a nuanced word of condescension and lifted the vase lazily. Delnia froze for a moment, the softness of his touch making it all the more ominous.
He suddenly turned the vase upside down.
***
Chapter 38
***
Sponsored by LC. Thank you ❤️ (3/8)
***
Roan, though physically superior to his peers, was still just a boy, and carrying her through the rugged woods was never going to be easy.
The exultation of having him all to herself faded. Instead, guilt that she had made him suffer began to eat away at Delnia.
"I'm sorry, I was so stubborn.”
Delnia muttered, burying her forehead in Roan's back. He didn't answer, so she couldn't tell if he heard her.
The woods were vast, and Delnia's mind had been foggy for some time, and she couldn't remember when they had returned to the castle.
It was two days later when she regained consciousness. She'd caught a cold and had a fever, Sophie had informed her, almost angrily.
When Dalnia asked her not to say anything to Roan since it was her fault, the real nagging started.
The sullen Delnia had grown tired of her nanny's nagging and absentmindedly turned to look out the window.
There, in the corner of the garden flower bed visible from her bedroom, was a small, vivid blue-purple shape.
It was far away, but she couldn't fail to recognize it. It was a Belfort anemone.
Delnia spent the next two days glued to the window watching the flower. As expected, the Belfort anemone wilted before she could get out of bed.
But that was okay. She'd gotten something more precious.
"Roan, did you transplant the Belfort anemone?”
"No.”
Roan denied it. But she knew him, the way he'd slipped in and out at night, secretly tending to the flower.
Who wouldn't want to step through the door of a heart that had been so firmly closed?
Young Delnia stood nervously in front of the door, waiting for it to open wide for her.
She had never felt so eager in her life. Even the waiting was lovely to her.
"So? Because the lady likes me, what do you want me to do? Is the noble young lady going to run away with the lowly servant like me?”
That was why when Roan sarcastically asked her one day, as if he couldn't stand her anymore, she nodded without hesitation.
"Yes. I’ll do it.”
"What?”
"I'll run away with you.”
“.............Do you even know what you're talking about?”
“Of course. I'm good anywhere, Roan. As long as I’m with you.”
Roan let out an incredulous laugh. He turned his head away from her, as if he wasn't going to put up with her nonsense anymore.
But Delnia was serious.
It wasn't that she hated Belfort, or the people there. Nor had she ever wanted to escape.
She just couldn't love anything fully.
Her father who wouldn’t pay attention to her. Her mother who would judge everything she did. A noblewoman's pride, which she wielded as her only weapon, but which sometimes cut Delnia to pieces.
Of all the things she loved but couldn't let go of, Roan the only one. She loved him more than anything. Being with him made her most happy.
It wasn't that she didn't value them, but she felt like she could leave them all behind. If only he was there.
At the time, she really did.
"Ah!"
A stinging pain in her fingertips snapped Delnia back to reality. It was the price she paid for being distracted while tending to the flower.
She dabbed at her finger, which was oozing dark red blood, with a cloth to staunch the bleeding. Luckily, she hadn't cut too deeply, and the bleeding stopped quickly.
She let out a shallow sigh and lowered her gaze to the flowers she had arranged. There were more than thirty irises in the arrangement.
"They look nothing alike."
They were all different in appearance, just the same color.
That alone was enough to make her feel sorry for herself for willingly drowning in the past.
However, there was a time when that was enough to keep her going.
Even if it was now so blackened with guilt and hatred that it was unrecognizable, even if it could never return to its pure and brilliant form.
Still, there was a time when she could cross over because of him.
Even if they no longer have any meaning, it didn't mean they never happened.
'Maybe not for you...................'
It was unlikely that Roan would have seen the flower and evoked the same memories as she had.
He was no longer the boy Delnia had known, the Roan she had known no longer existed.
But even as she thought that, she couldn't help but feel shaken. Moments that kept making her look back, weakening her resolve.
He probably didn’t remember it anyway, it was something he would rather forget, and she knew that.
And yet, she wanted to hold back the regrets that wouldn’t go away.
"Because Jack asked me to..................."
Finally summoning up the courage of her cowardice, Delnia held up a single flower she had trimmed.
It was she who had ruined those days. She's the one who ruined it, and she was the one who was still holding onto the shattered remnants.
If it was just a few flowers that mean nothing to Roan, then perhaps it was alright.
But it would still mean something to her.
Unable to contain her overwhelming emotions, Delnia impulsively gathered the flowers into her arms. The scent lingered in her nostrils, never quite the same.
***
Cloudy days when it looked like it was going to rain but never did were Roan's favorite weather.
It was easier than training in the sun, but most importantly, it left no room for nagging memories to surface.
So he was able to finish his morning workout and stay clear minded all the way home.
Roan realized it shortly after he stepped out of the bathroom and back into his bedroom.
It was the same room as it had been until he'd just returned home. His space, devoid of useless decorations, filled with only the things he needed.
It sat alone, bathed in light, in a neutral color scheme that forbade the intrusion of anything that wasn't useful.
Roan stood before it, his face expressionless.
Irises in a crystal vase bathed in a bluish glow.
He didn't need to ask who had done such a useless thing, for there was only one person he had called upon upon entering the mansion.
"....."
Roan's eyes darkened as he stared down at the vase in silence.
The girl who had insisted on going to see the same color flower as that one had taken control of his mind with such ease that he was helpless.
"Okay, we’ll go and come back quickly.”
She was stubborn, and when she was wrong, she changed her face as if she hadn't done it before.
He was clearly annoyed, and all he wanted to do was cater to her whims and be free of her as soon as possible.
"I'm sorry. I'm so stubborn.”
He couldn’t seem to get rid of the small , faint voice that seeped through the rain.
Why did the rhythmic pounding of his back, accompanied by his steady breathing, and the warmth that ran down his spine linger so long, making him do things he normally wouldn't have done?
"Roan, the Belfort anemone, you transplanted it, didn't you?
"No.”
Why was it that he could still so easily recall the face that chased after her with a knowing smile on her face, even though he denied it.
An indescribable feeling of unpleasantness washed over him, creeping up from his toes.
With a cautious gesture, the door opened.
Roan turned his gaze from the flower. The woman who had caused all this was stepping into his space.
"The vase is a little low on water."
Delnia explained in a hushed voice, explaining the reason for her brief absence. Sure enough, in her hand she held a small glass.
She walked over to the vase and carefully filled it with water.
The fragrance of fresh flowers wafted from her.
But what irritated him even more was the look on her face, as if she could get away with this abomination.
"You're not even funny."
Roan chewed on his words as if he were trying to wipe away something unpleasant.
Delnia's gaze shifted from the flowers to him. A sharp sneer tugged at the corners of the man's mouth as he stood there like a painting.
"I suppose you are in need of money quite urgently, huh?”
"What's that..................."
"That's what you do to try to get even with me."
With a twisted lip, Roan muttered a nuanced word of condescension and lifted the vase lazily. Delnia froze for a moment, the softness of his touch making it all the more ominous.
He suddenly turned the vase upside down.
***
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