Misfortune 40

Chapter 40

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"Ha............."

The tightly clenched breath burst out. Delnia's legs gave out and she sagged to the floor.

The flowers she hadn't realized she was holding slipped from her hands and scattered to the floor.

The tattered petals were scattered. The sour odor of dying plants stung her nostrils. The fragrant scent of the flowers was no more.

Alone, Delnia shook her head helplessly. No tears came to her eyes, despite the groans that escaped her mouth.

***

"Welcome, Colonel. Did your training go well?"

The cadets had just finished their afternoon drill. When Roan returned to the locker room to change out of his rain- and sweat-soaked clothes, Kais greeted him as if he had been waiting for him.

After a brief glance at Kais, Roan lifted up his skin-clinging training top and asked in a grave voice, 

"What are you doing out at this hour? You ran out as soon as the training was over.”

"You have to cut me some slack. I don't know when I'll be in the capital again, shouldn't I enjoy life a little?"

Most of the men had already returned to Blois, where the naval headquarters was located, but some of their immediate officers, including Admiral Lasser, were still in the capital. It wasn't even clear why.

Everyone assumed that the Admiral was simply enjoying the peace that had suddenly arrived.

However, the naval forces had had trouble finding a suitable training ground in the capital, given that Blois was their base, so they had rented the training ground of the military academy and Roan had to train their cadets in terms of payment.

Still, the makeshift arrangement meant that discipline was lax. Except for Roan Barthez, a human robot.

"Actually, I've been hanging out with some of the ground troops lately, playing cards in the evenings."

Facing Roan, who looked disinterested, Kais continued his rambling.

"They've been playing some dirty tricks, so I was wondering if the Colonel could show them the ropes."

"Dirty tricks?"

"Yes. Sneaking in card rules that only work in the capital, deliberately mentioning tantalizing rumors when we should be paying attention. It's very lethal.”

Kais sounded quite sincere in his complaint.

But in Roan's opinion, they were even more pathetic for falling for such childish tricks.

"You can't win, so you want revenge instead."

Roan dismissed the pathetic plea with a single word, and Kais pouted and grumbled.

"You're not even in the mansion much these days anyway. The cadets have told me you're staying up late to watch them train."

“….”

"So if you’re not going home, why don't you take this opportunity for some camaraderie, and let's show the ground troops who’s boss.”

If Kais went out to play, Roan would go back to his house, though he'd occasionally mingled with the officers in Blois.

‘Like he had some kind of honey pot hidden in the mansion.’

And it wasn't hard for Kais to deduce what that honey pot might be.

It was when Roan had been given the noble slave.

'She was certainly pretty.’

As much as Kais found her delicate and graceful, her origin was unpleasant, though she was certainly beautiful, objectively speaking.

It was a shame that he'd been so publicly humiliated by her.

Still, Kais decided to be understanding. Considering Roan was probably enjoying having the beautiful slave, he couldn't blame him.

There was an unexpected closeness in realizing that a man whose motivations had always seemed to live in a different world was, after all, a man like himself, a mere mortal with the same desires.

Then, a few days ago, out of the blue, he heard that Roan hadn’t been coming home. Like he'd had a fight with his wife and fled the house.

‘He's got better things to do with his time than to torture himself.’

Kais subtly persuaded Roan to join him. He half meant it, though his main intention was to get him to join him, since he couldn't afford to lose the stakes today.

Roan Barthez had been a strangely stoic man, even as a foot soldier, to the point where one sometimes wondered if he had much of a purpose in life.

Of course, when he was on deck, brawling with pirates and watching him talking enemy’s lives, it was easy to see why.

He was a man who seemed to have nothing to look forward to in life, so it was not surprising that he'd find the novelty of a pretty slave entertaining.

All the more reason, Kais realized, that Roan needed something to distract him.

There were so many ways to have fun in the world, and it was never a good idea to focus on just one.

Of course, the usual Roan Barthez wouldn't even pretend to listen, but...................

".................. Wait here. I'll get cleaned up."

"What? Really?"

Kais cheered at the unexpected acceptance.

Leaving his noisy subordinate behind, Roan made his way to the small washroom next to the locker room, which was reserved for the instructors and no one else.

Roan first washed his face with cold water from the sink. Then he dunked his head under the water.

When he came up, droplets of water trickled down his wet hair.

Above the rippling surface of the water, he remembered the woman who had so willingly fallen for Kais's scheme.

He couldn't remember exactly what she looked like the last time he'd seen her. Only her reddened eyes and even redder lips were clear.

"Brand me or not, do as you please!”

With those words, she had uttered words that had completely exhausted his patience, and it was no wonder he could no longer stand it.

The blood rushed to his head and his heart pounded like it was going to burst. He could no longer hear the woman's rambling words.

His mind, completely out of control, raged with a primal need to destroy the woman.

He wanted to strangle her slender neck with his hands, but he also wanted to devour that abomination of a mouth.

It was impossible to do this without being insane, so he was somewhat insane.

Roan readily admitted that he had lost his mind.

That was why he'd run out of the room. If he didn't stop himself, he felt like he was going to do something to her.

It was the same reason he hadn't looked for her in the days since.

He needed time to cool his head, otherwise he wouldn't know what he would do to her if he saw her again.

'..................If that's the case, why not just do it?'

Suddenly, he felt uncomfortable with himself for holding something back. He was so used to holding back that he didn't even realize he was doing it.

The sound of water dripping from the tip of his chin onto the surface echoed through the silence, the steady of the noise clearing his head a little.

She was his slave. He could use her as he pleased. There was no one in the world to point that out to him, and if they did, he could simply ignore them.

So why had he stopped himself?

If he'd kept pushing, this time he could have broken her completely, just like he wanted.

But even in the midst of his rage, he knew instinctively.

That if he crossed this line, something would indeed be irreversible.

But that was ridiculous, too, because they were already irreversible, and he hadn't even thought about wanting to go back.

So why?

‘Because .............she’s not so easily broken.’

Roan muttered, his voice muffled.

She was a woman who could crumble at any moment. In order to endure his anger for a long time, it was necessary not to push her too hard.

She shouldn't be completely broken yet, not with a hatred that couldn’t be so easily ended.

Yes. That's probably why.

With the answer finally sinking into his head, he hurriedly finished washing his face and ran water over his body. He hoped the cold water would wash away all his useless thoughts.

***

Afterward, when Delnia had regained her composure, she finally admitted that she had been hurting all along.

She thought she hadn't expected anything from Roan, but her heart had secretly been expecting something, and that was why it hurt so much.

Once she acknowledged that fact, the idea of how to stop hurting came naturally to her.

***

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