Chapter 86. It doesn’t matter whose child it is
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The waters of Apeso's spring worked wonders, proving the legend that Anut was the land of the glory of the gods.
After only a few days of soaking in it, Ihedia's distorted skin was transformed into the white, smooth flesh of a baby.
The scars were almost gone, but people were still stunned when they saw her.
Of course, the meaning in their eyes was different.
Even the women would blush when they stared at her.
There was a sense of wonder and admiration in their gazes as they gazed upon her perfectly proportioned features and inimitable elegance.
Sometimes, when Ihedia looked in the mirror, she was so unfamiliar with her own reflection that she thought she saw another woman in it.
Her features had been blurred in her early memories.
Whenever she touched her face, the smoothness that her fingers felt was foreign.
Ordinarily, she would have wept tears of joy at the sight of her familiar face, but she was strangely unmoved.
Hashad was pleased with her cleaned-up appearance.
It was not unlike his intention to dress a puppet in pretty clothes for an audience.
As Hashad had said, he had more to exploit and she had more to protect, so she decided to just let it happen.
There was nothing else she could do.
Hope and pessimism were futile.
Ihedia left the room at the appointed time to go to Apeso's spring.
She was not dragged by the courtiers as she had been before.
Now that she was officially the Emperor's consort, and she was pregnant with the heir to the throne, the courtiers were beginning to take notice of her.
The chill in the air intensified as she approached the doorway.
Even though she wore a thick robe, she was worried.
A cold body would not be good for the child.
Ihedia covered her belly with her hands, trying to keep warm.
She walked a little faster, and the courtiers picked up their pace to follow.
Only when she reached the carriage waiting at the doorway did she relax her tense muscles.
‘This will be my last day.’
It was hard to see the burn marks on her face now unless you looked closely.
Perhaps this would be the last time she would visit Apeso's spring.
The occasional rattling of the carriage caused Ihedia's body to sway faintly.
She focused on the darkness outside the window and thought of someone.
Even though she had become a concubine, she was still so isolated from the outside world that she had no way of hearing from Kayan.
But the Emperor had announced her pregnancy in public and expressed his desire to make her his concubine, so surely Kayan would have heard by now.
His blue eyes were so intense that her heart sank for no good reason.
Did he hate her because he felt betrayed?
She hoped his feelings for her weren't so deep.
So insignificant, so unworthy of his anger.
Although it was something she had no intention of doing, the guilt that squeezing her lungs persistently followed her even into her dreams.
At times, Ihedia was consumed with useless questions.
Was guilt really the only thing she felt for Kayan?
From time to time during her solitary confinement, she thought back to the time she had spent with him.
The warmth of his embrace, his affectionate smile, his soft kisses.........
She felt vaguely familiar.
The essence of this emotion was longing.
‘I liked him more than I thought.’
She wasn't sure if it was because she was trying to fool herself into thinking she felt that way, or if she was making up plausible excuses.
But what was clear was that all of her scattered thoughts were directed toward one person.
Only after becoming irrevocably separated did she realize it.
A bitter smile tugged at the corners of Ihedia's mouth.
A short time later, she stepped out of the carriage and began the dry walk to Apeso’s Spring.
Halfway there, Ihedia suddenly stopped and turned her head to the side.
The courtier asked a question.
"What is it?"
She felt looked like someone was watching her.
But there was nothing in her line of sight.
"Nothing."
Ihedia shook her head weakly and answered briefly.
She quickened her pace again, blaming the lack of sleep for her heightened sensitivity.
The courtiers brought her to the fountain and left her alone.
The small, cold-free palace was as warm as the greenhouse where she and Kayan had shared a meal.
It was warm enough to remind her of the cozy landscape of Elmir Kayan had created for her, a place she would never be able to visit again------.
As her thoughts drifted back to Kayan, Ihedia let out a long breath and removed her layers of clothing one by one.
The light from the spring greeted her as usual.
Perhaps she had grown accustomed to it after so many times, but she didn't suffer from the same terrible dizziness as she had on her first day.
Ihedia's body slowly sank into the water.
Blue light hovered over her entire body.
She closed her eyes.
"I wish it were a little warmer."
Kayan's voice rumbled in her ear.
The memory of him was as gentle as Elmir’s breeze.
Maybe that's why.
Being in a place like this, filled with warmth, was like being next to him.
Ihedia's closed eyelids pooled with moisture.
If only she had known it would be the last time she would see him.
But that was a futile thought.
Time passed, and she opened her eyes again.
When she saw the face she'd missed all this time, she couldn't move her fingers, as if her mind refused to work.
"How..................."
It was Kayan.
He was right in front of her.
That couldn't be...................
Was she hallucinating?
Or dreaming.
The doubt faded as Kayan moved toward her, step by step.
"Ihedia."
Ihedia clamped her hands over her mouth as Kayan's voice came to life.
This was no hallucination, no dream.
He had come to see her, through all the dangers the Emperor had set in place.
He had come all this way.
All this way just to see her.
Ihedia leapt from the spring and stood before him, soaking wet.
Kayan stepped forward and swept her into his arms.
His embrace sent a familiar warmth into her chest.
Ihedia wanted to stay like this, frozen in time, if only for a moment.
"I've come to save you."
"..."
"Come with me."
Ihedia's heart sank to the bottom of her feet as she heard Kayan's words.
There was no anger or resentment in him.
That fact made her bitter.
Was she so important that he had risked his life to come here?
Why her?
Why?
Her vision blurred for a moment as all of her pent-up emotions exploded at once.
Slowly he pulled himself away and looked at Ihedia properly.
Kayan pleaded once more.
"Come with me."
Kayan's voice cracked.
The plea, somehow like a cry, sent Ihedia's heart into a frenzy.
She hesitated, then dropped her head in regret.
Kayan stared at her in confusion as she shook her head wordlessly.
"Why?"
Ihedia's lips parted, and another sharp pain shot through her.
As she tried to resist it, a sharp ache washed over her.
Kayan gripped Ihedia's shoulders.
"Answer me."
Ihedia didn't have the courage to meet his desperate eyes.
In the meantime, her subconscious forced her to spit out another vile lie.
"I am now........... the Emperor's person."
"...."
"I deceived you because I wanted to become the Emperor's concubine."
"...."
"I have............ his child."
Ihedia resisted the spell once more with all her might, enduring near-death agony, but the result was the same: a momentary silence.
Kayan asked, trying to control his rising emotions.
"Did the Emperor threaten you?"
"No. ...."
"Did he force you?"
"..."
"Is that why you say something like this?”
Ihedia could not tell Kayan any truth.
The ugly necklace she had given him glittered around his neck.
The sight of it pained her until she could hardly breathe.
Kayan spoke, his voice trembling.
"I'll save you somehow. I promise."
Kayan's gaze lingered on Ihedia's belly for a moment, then dropped.
"I don't care whose child it is, I'll take care of it. All I need is you. So tell me the truth, please."
"....."
“Ihedia."
She answered by not answering.
The realization of its meaning shattered Kayan's soul like a windswept sandcastle.
His hands, which had held her, slid helplessly downward.
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