Chapter 87. Have you ever been true to me?
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A deafening silence separated them.
Ihedia was fighting a lonely battle that no one understood.
Ihedia fought hard against the pain in her head, but the realm of witchcraft was complex and beyond the reach of human power.
Ihedia, a mere mortal, could not defeat the curse of the gods.
This unwinnable battle would continue until time allowed the enchantment to dissipate on its own.
Still, Ihedia held out hope that perhaps her will could create a small crack in the spell's effect.
She knew it was futile, but she fought back against the malevolent entity that had taken over her mind.
But the more she resisted, the more the pain grew intense, reminding her of the reality of despair.
‘I can't take this anymore.’
Ihedia had reached her limit.
She wondered if this was what it would feel like to have your skull shattered and the shards lodged in your brain.
The pain was excruciating, life-threatening, but the spell that bound her mind was cleverly designed to make it impossible for her to even complain.
The pain grew in intensity, but it was like a lazy river that Ihedia was not familiar with.
Even as she battled the terrible black magic, Ihedia feared most the danger that would soon befall Kayan.
She didn't know how he had gotten into this heavily guarded place, but that was the only thing she cared about: him making it out alive.
At the same time, her heart clenched with a mixture of gratitude and pity for Kayan's recklessness.
"The courtiers will be here soon, you need to get out of here."
Kayan remained as still as an amorphous stone under Ihedia's urging.
It was as if the words to leave were not even audible to him.
Ihedia added, once again with a hint of impatience.
"Come on, we don't have much time."
Kayan stared at her, unmoving, like a man who had given up on everything.
Watching him, Ihedia's heart sank with guilt.
‘I must stop him somehow.’
She would be used and discarded by the Emperor.
The moment she fell under the spell, her path to salvation was blocked.
She had to stop Kayan from being dragged into the hell the Emperor had created.
It was the wisest thing she could do for him.
If Hashad realized that Kayan cared so much for her, he would surely use it against him.
She hated the thought of her presence jeopardizing Kayan.
Resolved, Ihedia looked up at him with calm eyes.
Her mouth moved again of its own accord as she let go of her resistance.
"I went to the Emperor on my own feet, begging him to take me in for selling you out."
Kayan swallowed dryly, and his throat moved.
Ihedia couldn't stop herself, even though she knew her words cut cruelly into Kayan's heart.
"He promised to give this child the throne, and as you can see, he has restored my face."
"You’re lying."
"The Emperor has things you can't give me, and that's the only reason why."
"It's all a lie."
"So... don't come to me anymore."
Kayan's blue pupils lost their clear glow.
Just then, a voice flew in from outside the door.
"Lady Ihedia, is something wrong?"
Perhaps the courtiers sensed something was amiss.
Ihedia gently clenched her fists to calm her pounding heart.
"Nothing is wrong."
Then she whispered to him, her voice shaking unsteadily.
"Get out of here, if anyone sees you......"
"Are you afraid of embarrassing yourself?"
Because you're in danger.
"Are you afraid they'll accuse you of being in bed with a traitor?"
I just want to keep you alive...................
The words never made it out of Ihedia's mouth.
Kayan gave her a twisted smile.
"Yes, you can covet what the Emperor has."
"...."
"I'm not an emperor, and my position is insecure, so maybe you’ve decided I'm no longer useful."
"...."
"Or perhaps you thought the Emperor's favor could be of benefit to your country."
Kayan muttered to himself, trying to make sense of Ihedia.
He had the vacant look of a defeated soldier who had lost everything.
"Have you ever been true to me?"
He asked, his voice cold and desperate for something.
Kayan summoned the last of his patience and waited for Ihedia's answer.
But she had to break his heart to pieces one last time.
"There's no way you were sincere."
Ihedia chewed her lip and swallowed back her tears.
Kayan let out a mirthless laugh.
"Now I finally hear your true feelings, but I......."
He paused, trying to control his rising emotions.
"I was willing to be used, even if everything you said to me was a lie."
Even though she knew it was for the best, Ihedia felt as if she were slashing at Kayan with an invisible knife.
An overwhelming sense of self-loathing swirled.
He had the eyes of someone who had lost everything.
She was not his everything, but why...................
As much as she had doubted her own heart in the past, she was questioning herself.
Where did I go wrong?
What did I miss?
She stopped breathing and slowly closed and opened her eyes like a fish that had lost its gills.
Then Kayan's hot hand was on her cheek.
His fingers slowly traced the spot where the scar had disappeared.
"I didn't care what your face looked like."
Warmth seeped into her skin, reminding her of the brief memory of him.
She lowered her eyes, avoiding his hurt gaze.
Still, unable to let go, Kayan pursed his lips, unable to leave her.
"If I had been there, do you think you would have stayed by my side?"
"Kayan."
Kayan chuckled.
"A pathetic question, even for me."
He took a step back, away from her.
Ihedia held his gaze, deep contempt in his eyes.
He looked like a man at peace, as if all the mysteries had finally been solved.
For a moment, before he turned and walked away, she thought she saw redness in his eyes.
Ihedia hoped it was her imagination.
****
That led Kayan away from the springs of Apeso and back to his wolf form.
His ability to change form at will had allowed him to slip past the tight surveillance in this time of need.
As a wolf, Kayan deliberately traveled only on the roughest roads, off the beaten path.
As expected, Hashad had deployed a massive force around the springs of Apeso.
It was as if he knew he would come for her.
"I am now.................. the Emperor's person."
"I deceived you because I wanted to become the Emperor's concubine."
"I'm carrying his child..................."
Ihedia's cruel words were painfully stuffed somewhere in his chest.
Once again, she had sent Kayan into a bottomless pit.
His throat continued to burn as he realized that all of her sweet smiles and affectionate whispers had been false.
In Ihedia's eyes, he was nothing but an animal, a savage.
Then and now.
The corners of Kayan's mouth twitched with grief.
This made everything clear.
Ihedia had abandoned him for the Emperor.
His time with her had been an illusion, an illusion of his own making.
From beginning to end, all of it.
She never gave him an ounce of affection.
Not a single moment.
There was no way that kind of affection could exist in a relationship based on deception.
What did he expect?
A bitter smile tugged at the corners of Kayan's mouth.
There was no way she would love him, even if he gave her everything he had, even if he sold his last soul to the devil.
It was bittersweet to find that out this way.
He ran down the escape route at a speed similar to falling off a cliff.
As he ran, the merciless north wind whipped at his eyes.
Kayan felt his heart rate increase abnormally, but he didn't stop running.
If he did, something boiling inside his heart would explode and consume him.
He reached the edge of the mountain.
"Huh, huh."
An imperial soldier happened to be passing nearby, and he squinted hard at the giant wolf.
What was I looking at?
He was tired from standing guard, but his eyesight wasn't impaired.
What he had just witnessed was definitely a wolf.......
While the soldier wondered if there was a wolf-like creature in Anut, the wolf's form was nowhere to be seen.
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