TFM 14

Chapter 14

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"Why don't you go and speak to him?"

The handmaidens at her side urged her on, frustrated with her distant observation. They seemed eager to see Varkas up close, some with more than mere admiration, some with eager gazes.

Ayla turned a blind eye to their presumptuousness. She could afford it, knowing that Varkas would never set eyes on another woman.

'Of course, he's never given me a heated glance, either....’

She smiled bitterly.

Varkas lacked the ability to feel such emotions in the first place.

He had been brought into the imperial court at a young age and trained by fanatical Principalist priests to be a loyal servant of the Empire, a training that bordered on brainwashing. And in the process, he had lost most of his emotions.

When his mother realized how harshly her son was being disciplined by the priests, she tried to protect him, but the young boy had already lost all sense of joy and pleasure and most of his basic human desires.

Ayla's face clouded as she remembered the first time she'd met him. How frightening he had been at first, a boy with eyes as empty as an insect's hollow.

Varkas looked like a figure made of hardened wax. He was so inarticulate that he rarely spoke more than two words a day, and he never ate or slept unless someone told him to. It was as if his every desire had been so tightly controlled for so long that he had lost the ability to feel the need to eat or sleep.

Compared to those days, Varkas now seemed much more human.

'Maybe, just maybe, he'll get better and better.....’

She sent a hopeful glance toward her fiancé. She had told herself many times not to expect too much, but she couldn't help but feel a pit in her stomach every time she looked at him.

The beautiful boy who had stood by her poor mother's side so faithfully............... How could she not long for the man who had now grown into the most perfect man in all of the Roem Empire?

Though she knew that countless women who had held him in their hearts had suffered bitter heartbreak, Ayla felt she was in a far more favorable position than they were.

She would soon be his wife, and one day she would bear his heir, albeit a marriage arranged to cement a political alliance.

If she persevered in her affection throughout their long life together, perhaps one day his frozen heart would melt.

With that hope in her heart, Ayla cautiously approached him. Varkas, who had been standing with his back to the light, turned toward her as if he sensed her presence.

For a moment, Ayla felt a chill run down her spine. His face was chilling, as if it was mocking all her dreams and hopes.

The man who had been sending her numbing glares straightened up again and spat out in a low voice.

"What is it?"

She consciously forced a bright smile to form on her lips as she gathered her thoughts.

"I was just wondering how your preparations for the trip were coming along."

"Almost done."

He replied in a grave tone as he lightly stroked the horse's bushy neck.

"I'm afraid it's taken longer to prepare than I expected, and with the heat of the day, it's going to be a rough ride."

"It can't be helped, Gareth's insistence has thrown us off schedule."

Ayla spoke softly, then glanced at her fiancé. She couldn't help but blush at the thought of her brother's immature behavior.

Not only had Gareth barged into the trip uninvited, but he'd acted as if he'd decided to take the entire Crown Prince's palace with him. He insisted on bringing dozens of servants to serve him, a jester to entertain him along the way, a personal cook, and even a tailor.

She marveled at Varkas's patience, that he had tolerated all of her brother’s insistence and tantrums without so much as a whimper.

She gave him a guilty look.

"I only apologize for the trouble he has caused you."

"It's nothing for you to apologize for, Your Highness. It was a price that had to be paid at some point."

He added nonchalantly as he handed the reins over to the stable hand.

“He’s acting rather politely compared to what I expected. It’s acceptable to be this angry when sending off his precious sister.”

Ayla frowned. At his words, the anxiety she'd been trying so hard to ignore lifted its head.

Looking up at the magnificent citadel, gleaming white, Ayla clutched the hem of her dress tighter. The thought of leaving her brother alone in this palace, so full of sad memories, broke her heart.

Worse, it was inhabited by a vicious demon who wanted to take Gareth's place. Would her brother, with his fiery temper, be able to stand up to that cunning woman alone?

"If it is not too much of a burden for you, I would like to visit the palace periodically after we are married, is that okay?"

Varkas turned toward her as he examined another horse. Seeing the faintest crease in his smooth brow, Ayla blushed, realizing she had made an unreasonable request.

It was no small task to manage a vast estate in the east and oversee hundreds of vassals as a Grand Duchess, and if she was married, she had to prioritize the affairs of House Shiokan above all else.

But Varkas, who looked at her with thoughtful eyes, nodded as if it didn't matter.

"If the long journey will not be too much for you, you are free to come and go as you please. Wasn't this marriage arranged in the first place to empower the Crown Prince?"

Ayla frowned. The marriage may have been purely political for him, but not for her. Though she felt a twinge of disappointment, Ayla forced herself to look pleased.

"Thank you for understanding."

Varkas shook his head slightly, then returned to examining the horse's molars.

Ayla swallowed a sigh and placed a hand on her fiancé's forearm, forcing him to look at her.

"I know you're busy, but I was wondering if you could spare a moment for me. There's something I want to give you before we leave for our trip."

The man looked at her questioningly, then turned away, instructed the servant knight standing beside him to move all the inspected horses into the stables, and escorted her to a relatively secluded area.

The maids stood back far enough so that Ayla could enjoy the walk alone with him.

She rested her hand on his strong forearm as they walked along the manicured paths, a gentle breeze tickling their faces as they entered the spacious flower garden.

The gardens of the main palace were in full bloom. The flowerbeds, carefully tended by the servants, were filled with brightly colored summer flowers, and the perfectly manicured shrubs were covered in lush emerald leaves.

Ayla took it all in with a wistful look in her eyes. This landscape had always filled her heart with vivid colors. But as the years passed, and the imperial palace with Senevere’s traces became a part of everyday life, her mother's garden faded from her memory, and that was harder to bear than anything else.

"What is it you want to give me?"

Ayla turned from her rueful thoughts and looked up at Varkas.

As a child, he used to spend quite a bit of time in Empress Bernadette's garden. Ayla knew he had found some small measure of healing for his ravaged heart there.

Suddenly, she wondered. Does this man miss her mother's garden, too?

Staring up at his expressionless face, devoid of the slightest hint of emotion, Ayla sighed in frustration and pulled a handkerchief from inside her coat.

"I've embroidered the Shiokan family crest."

The man's gaze fell upon the finely folded cloth. Ayla’s mouth suddenly went dry.

She began to speak in an exaggerated tone, trying to shake off the tension.

"It's tradition to give a fiancé a handmade handkerchief before leaving on a trip. Of course, we're traveling together......."

"What a precious gift."

The man interrupted her rambling and accepted the handkerchief, a faint smile tugging at the corners of his tightly closed mouth.

Ayla felt her heart pounding. It was a bit humiliating to be so concerned about this man’s every move, but she was more than happy that Varkas, who was known for being stingy with his emotions, had smiled.

"I will cherish it."

He said, tying the handkerchief to the handle of his sword. Ayla smiled shyly.

At that moment, urgent footsteps were heard from not far away.

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