Chapter 95. I missed you
***
Slaves in the workhouse were the lowest of the low in Anut.
The sweatshop was just a passage to death.
Day after day, people died.
Ihedia fought a daily battle with the horrors of death to keep the thin lifeline going.
Since her release from the tower, she had been forced to perform harsh labor that was life and death.
Here, men, women, and children alike were forced to do hard labor.
As a woman, Ihedia would carry heavy stones with her bare hands or pull carts of dead bodies.
When they were forced to dig with poor tools to make supports for large weapons, they were punished by not being allowed to drink a sip of water all day if they made no progress.
The slightest hint of slowness would result in a terrifying flogging.
Ihedia was whipped so many times that her flesh was torn and her clothes were stained with blood.
As they watched her struggle, the guards exchanged dirty comments.
"I've never seen such a pretty girl before, and I can't stop looking at her. What's more tempting, she's the Emperor's favorite concubine."
"Arthur, don't make a fool of yourself. She knows the Emperor's aide, and Doa Chatalq was just here the other day, and he had a private meeting with her."
“Tsk, it looks like she has mesmerized the Emperor's aide."
"Not now, but when she's forgotten by those in high places, then you can have her. I'll take her before you, hee hee."
The men laughed as they gave Ihedia a sexual glare.
Ihedia flinched and turned to walk away from them.
"By the way, I heard the Emperor will soon having a national wedding.”
Ihedia stopped in her tracks, having been listening in on their conversation.
"What does that have to do with us?"
"Well, it's customary for the master of the country to be generous to his subordinates whenever there's a big event, whether it's a promotion or a raise. I'm just wondering if we're due something."
“What could possibly happen to us lowly people? Last year, Harshad had his first child, but it passed quietly. Anyway, I’m telling you, there are more things to worry about.”
"Well, the dynasty has changed, and unlike Hashad, who had a disreputable reputation, the new emperor has his ministers eager to offer their daughters to him to choose the Empress. I suppose it's better to have a successor sooner rather than later to stabilize the status quo. I don't know, but there's going to be a big banquet soon."
Ihedia, realizing belatedly that she had been frozen in place, resumed her pace.
National wedding, Empress…
Ihedia couldn't shake the words of their conversation, even though none of them related to her.
She still felt so ridiculous and insignificant as she listened to Kayan's tale, and it left her with a hollow feeling.
For a long time afterward, despite her hard labor, she still felt as if a great thorn had been driven deep into her chest.
***
"Your Majesty, for the sake of the stability of the imperial family, you must have an empress immediately."
It had been less than two months since Kayan had ascended the throne, but his ministers were pressing him daily on the issue of succession.
Hashad’s bizarre sex life left everyone shocked, and even the ministers avoided mentioning specifically who they would choose as empress, only saying that they needed a successor.
This was because they were afraid that their daughters might end up becoming the bride of a murderous emperor and suffer misfortune.
The reason why there was no empress for quite some time was clear, as even the women of noble families were raising a fuss, saying they would rather die than marry Hashad.
As soon as Kayan ascended the throne, however, the ministers made no secret of their desire to have a daughter of their own in the imperial family.
As if in anticipation, they put aside their factional squabbles and joined together in one accord to plead with the emperor to give them an empress.
Kayan was already unhappy with this situation, having to pick an empress and earn their favor.
He had no interest in such things.
Being emperor meant more restrictions.
He had once vowed never to marry anyone in his life, but the moment he ascended to the throne, that vow was broken against his will.
He knew it was inevitable, but he didn't want to rush into it.
"We'll discuss that after we've dealt with the aftermath."
The High Priests could only shake their heads at this lukewarm response from Hashad and then Kayan.
Kayan's narrowing of his brow showed his displeasure, and they had no choice but to keep quiet.
But Kayan knew he couldn't put this off forever.
Even after the council meeting ended and everyone left, he didn't get up from his seat.
Aside from the matter of national marriage, there were many other headaches to attend to since becoming emperor.
Whereas before he had only had to travel to battlefields and take care of the Black Wolf's affairs, now he had to keep up with the subtleties of international affairs as well as the details of his own country, and it was exhausting.
On any given day, dozens of deputies would pass in and out of his office, bringing miscellaneous reports and requests for approval.
The rest of the time, he had to pore over documents and read the auspicious texts of local officials, looking for new projects to abolish or promote.
Already, he found himself longing for the freedom of living as a warrior.
Suddenly, Kayan's mind flashed back to the glorious moments that would never come again.
Memories of a time when every day was exciting and full of life, unlike this dull existence.
His eyelids closed lazily as he felt his chest tighten.
***
As time passed, Ihedia looked more and more like a walking corpse.
She was so broken that she was incapable of proper thought.
Step by step, one heavy foot after another, Ihedia lifted to move.
Each step felt like an eternity.
A blizzard was blowing hard.
The gusts of wind tossed Ihedia's body to the ground.
The whips flew at her, unrelenting.
Her whole body was in pain, but she couldn't move.
She was just taking it all in, like the helpless old man she'd seen on her first day.
The wind, as sharp as the whip, stiffened the blood that flowed from the open wounds in her skin.
Her eyes tried to close over and over again.
Alas, no more...............
She had a premonition of death.
The end of her life seemed to be in sight.
She had tried so hard to stay alive, but this was it.
Ihedia thought as she gave in to the terrible pain that made it impossible to scream.
She wanted to see her loved ones, the ones she would give her all for one last time, even if it was just a vision.
Her precious daughter, Adeline.
And her late mother and father, and her poor little brother, Evan......
And, if she may be so greedy, in her final moments, she wanted to see the child she had searched for so long but never met.
On the brink of death, trapped in a vision, Ihedia stared at the blue-eyed child who was staring back at her with resentment.
I'm sorry, Lucas.
Her mouth moved faintly, saying the words she'd been holding onto for so long.
Lucas made no reply.
The child had grown up, looking down at Ihedia, precarious as a dying candle.
As an adult, Lucas looked a lot like Kayan.
Why, she wondered, did she see a reflection of Kayan in Lucas when it shouldn't be possible?
She didn't know why, but she was glad that she could see him in this way.
It had taken her until this moment to see him properly.
A faint smile tugged at the corners of Ihedia's mouth.
As the whipping increased in intensity, her ears rang.
Then the surroundings became silent.
She thought perhaps she was dead, and the harsh flogging ceased.
Still, Ihedia's visions continued.
Kayan moved closer and closer to her.
Ihedia's eyelids tried to close.
Tears welled up in the corners of her parched eyes at the vividness of the vision.
He stared down at her.
Even though she knew it wasn't real, her heart pounded in her chest.
With what little strength she had left, Ihedia managed to speak.
"...... I missed you."
It was the kind of sincerity that could only be conveyed in a haze like this.
Even as she spoke, the fierce spell tore furiously at her mind.
But in the face of death, such pain could no longer deter her.
Ihedia struggled to raise her hand to touch Kayan.
She just wanted to feel his body heat one last time.
But her touch ultimately failed to reach him and fell away.
Ihedia groaned and closed her eyes.
Her whole body felt like it was floating in thin air.
The hot energy she had been craving washed over her.
She wanted to rest now.
It was really over.
She smiled faintly, feeling an unknown sense of relief.
***
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