Misfortune 71

Chapter 71

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Delnia's fever wasn't as bad as it had been in the past, but she was still unable to stay awake. She would wake occasionally, only to fall back into a deep sleep.

The doctor, whom Leticia had introduced as the most competent in Blois, diagnosed her as having been traumatized not only physically, but mentally as well, and that her recovery might be slow.

It sounded like something anyone could say, but it wasn't exactly wrong.

All that mattered was that Roan would have to see the bedridden woman over and over again.

The unpleasant feeling in his stomach was urging him to get his eyes on the sick woman as soon as possible, so he followed his instincts and hurried on his way.

"Oh, and I have news from Castle Belfort."

The butler who had caught Roan quickly filled in the rest of the report.

"Some time ago, an exotic-looking woman came, demanding to see Lady Eperne. When she was told she wasn't in the castle, she inquired as to the whereabouts of the other servants, and when the manor's caretaker was dismissive, she left disappointed."

The now unfamiliar name was briefly intriguing, but it didn't hold his attention for long.

He was not too curious about the visitor's identity; perhaps she was a distant relative he did not know, or perhaps she had just heard of Delnia’s situation and had come to her rescue.

He had no intention of giving her up, of course.

"Very well. As I said before, I want you to take care of Belfort Castle business as you are now."

"Yes, Colonel."

Roan, quickly regaining his attention, walked away, this time without any interruption.

As sphe ascended the stairs, a booming voice came from the direction of Delnia’s room. The voice belonged to the maid who would not be outdone.

“Well, I knew that girl would have an accident someday. Anyway, the ladies of the capital! They’re more prickly than puffer fish!”

The woman had certainly woken up, for Leticia was cussing Josephine loudly.

Proud of Blois, Leticia was quick to blame outsiders for any incidents that occurred here.

The influx of outsiders meant that Blois had seen its fair share of trouble, but the truth was that Josephine had lived in Blois longer than she had lived in the capital and other cities combined.

The fact that Leticia continued to refer to Josephine as the capital's puffer fish was also a sign of how much she disliked her.

"How's it taste? I've added some shellfish to it, but even if it's not good, you have to eat it all to get healthy."

"No, it's really good."

"Really? You're becoming a Blois citizen.”

What a funny way to say to a woman who hadn’t even been here for a month and thought she had become a citizen of Blois.

A small smile tugged at the corners of his lips, and Roan made his way up the stairs to Delnia’s room.

But the view through the open door stopped him in his tracks.

There, by the window, in the autumn sunlight, was Leticia herself, spooning porridge to Delnia, who was reclining on the bed.

Delnia smiled sheepishly, but took the porridge like a baby bird.

The scene was strangely peaceful, and instead of entering, Roan leaned against the doorway at an angle.

The sun was shining through the cloudless sky, warm and gentle on her. Her hair glistened a faint golden color in the sunlight.

It was the radiance that made him feel as if he were stealing glances at a fairy he had stumbled upon while wandering through the forest. He held his breath without realizing it, as if the fairy would be instantly dispersed into that light if he made even the slightest noise.

But his secret contemplation didn't last long. Leticia  quickly discovered his presence.

"Oh, look, the Colonel is here."

Leticia greeted Roan with a flourish. Delnia's eyes, which had been fixed on Leticia the entire time, also locked onto him.

He slowed his pace, meeting her steady gaze.

It reminded him of the sunset he'd seen on the ship that day.

The strangely arresting red sky. The woman who had walked slowly toward him in a blindingly intense light.

And how he no longer felt sorry for the sun as it disappeared over the horizon.

He also remembered.

How his heart plummeted when he heard she'd fallen into the sea, and how he thought he was going to lose his mind when he spotted the red orchid floating alone on the surface of the saccharine waters.

How relieved he was when he finally found her in the ocean he had jumped into without a second thought, and how nervous he was when she was barely breathing after being pulled out of the water.

"How are you?"

He asked, feeling as desperate as he had when he'd just pulled her out of the water.

Her lips, a slightly paler shade of pink than usual, drew into a thin line.

"I’m okay."

The woman said she was okay. She tried to smile, but her face didn't look okay at all.

And yet he was relieved by her shallow okay. Like a child eagerly believing a parent's lie that they'll be back soon.

A hollow self-help twitched at the corners of his mouth.

It wasn't that he hadn't considered the idea that he'd rather see it end.

Of course she would have to endure his hatred for a long time, he thought, but some days the urge to just get it over reared its ugly head.

Because this insatiable hatred was making him do things he didn’t even understand.

If he destroyed her, it would end, and he wouldn't have to put up with his weirdness anymore.

When he was plagued by such ambivalence, he would rather give himself over to the urge to see the end.

But even then, at the end of the day, his mind always leaned toward keeping the hatred alive.

No matter how many more times he stood at the same crossroads in the future, his decision would not change much. He seemed to know himself now.

But he still did not know the name of that patience.

***

"Oh, Colonel."

He watched Delnia until she fell asleep again, then slipped quietly out of the room with Leticia.

Leticia caught him as he turned to leave and asked.

"Is there anything you need? Or something to eat?"

Roan tilted his head, not quite understanding the question, and Leticia explained.

"I'm thinking of running out to get some ingredients for Delnia's reparative food, so she'll be more energized and up and about."

Roan shook his head in silent agreement, as he was strongly in favor of her idea.

"So, on the way, I was wondering if you had any errands to run. If you need anything, just let me know. Milan's out of town right now, up in the capital."

He appreciated the kindness, but he didn't really need anything. Milan had arranged most things before he left.

Roan was about to say no thanks, but Leticia interrupted him before he could open his mouth, sighing heavily.

"Anyway, I heard from Milan that you've been having trouble sleeping lately, and he's been worried about you."

"...."

"Yeah. I was stunned when I heard about it afterward. Imagine your surprise when you saw it yourself."

Roan wondered if he should question the butler later, but decided against it. For all he knew, Milan's light mouth might have been too weak for Leticia's persistence.

“I................"

Roan opened his mouth again to decline her kind offer, but a sudden thought stopped him.

Leticia was watching him curiously as he spoke, and he cleared his throat, subtly avoiding her piercing gaze.

"I was wondering if you could get me some green grapes...............?"

"Green grapes? You mean the kind that only comes from the South?"

Roan nodded wordlessly, and Leticia gasped in surprise.

"You've never mentioned that type of grape before. What made you want to eat them all of a sudden?” 

"Uh................... Everyone around says they're delicious, so I was curious about the flavor."

Leticia's eyes narrowed at the lame excuse and she glanced at Roan.

"You didn't even listen when I suggested it. I don't know who the hell you're listening to."

"...."

"The grapes are past their season now, and it would be hard to find anything that tasted right. At least I'm pretty sure that someone wasn't from Blois."

Grumbling grimly, Leticia said she'd do what she could to salvage what she could, and then descended the stairs.

Roan rubbed the back of his neck as he turned to leave, feeling like he'd just done something wrong.

***

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