Misfortune 107

Chapter 107

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Delnia stared blankly at the medicine left behind as evidence of the man's visit.

Until now, she had never taken the medicine he brought her. Even though it was a gift from Lena, she couldn't bring herself to take it.

Throwing away the cold medicine had become part of the servants' daily routine.

However, despite her consistent coldness, the man remained steadfast and sincere. He must have known that his efforts were in vain.

Was that his way of atoning for his sins?

To be honest, Delnia couldn't understand a man who was so desperate to make amends for something he couldn't possibly compensate for. She couldn't understand why he kept bringing up atonement when she had never asked for it.

It was clearly a miracle that Lena had come back to life.

But did that mean the fact that she had almost led Lena to her death no longer existed?

Of course not.

The mistakes of the past were still hers to bear. Delnia had no intention of denying that. Her past of abandoning him and running away was no different.

Yet now, he was the one anxiously trying to erase her sins.

As if he were trying to return the excessive price she had paid for her sins.

She couldn't understand his calculations. Nor did she care to.

"If there's something you want, just say it."

He said that, but she had no intention of accepting that "penalty." She didn't want to harp on his sins like he had done in the past.  

It wasn't because she was as merciful and broad-minded as a saint.  

She was just fed up. The very mention of atonement and penalties was nauseating.

She didn't even want to think about it, especially when it came to him.

But she couldn't keep going on like this...

As time passed and she gradually regained her strength, a sense of hopelessness about the future came over her like an aftereffect.

She hadn't thought about what to do next. She had only thought that everything would end when she died.

So she had thought about dying again. But unlike before, her thoughts didn't immediately turn into action.  

Instead, she was amazed at herself for cutting her wrist without a moment's hesitation. Even though it was only a short time ago.  

At the time, she thought it was a very cold and rational decision. But looking back, she couldn't understand how she could have done it.

Perhaps that attempt was the result of squeezing out every last ounce of strength she had left. That's why she couldn’t bring herself to try again now.

However, the servants, unaware of this fact, took turns standing guard in her bedroom in case of an emergency.

They were so thorough that even when Delnia complained of feeling stuffy, they wouldn't open the window. They claimed it was because the winter air was cold, but it was probably because they couldn't rule out the possibility of her jumping out.

Delnia felt sorry for their wasted efforts, but she didn't bother to express her true feelings. She didn't think they would believe her anyway.

‘It's true that I can't completely deny it…’

That was it. Ultimately, the core of the problem was that she herself didn’t know what she wanted to do.

The emptiness in her heart was comforting, but it was also overwhelming.

She didn’t know where to start thinking, so she just stared blankly out the window.

“….”

Margaret, who had entered without her noticing, paused midway through clearing away the medicine bowl and let out a short sigh. It wasn’t as if she hadn’t touched it for a day or two.

Margaret glanced at Delnia as if she had something to say. But as soon as their eyes met, she quickly lowered her head to avoid her gaze.

“….”

Lately, Margaret had been in that state all the time. Since regaining her senses, Delnia had never had a proper conversation with her.

Leticia said Margaret was just a little awkward because she had missed the timing to get closer again while trying to compose herself.

But Delnia thought that might not be the case. Perhaps Margaret felt uncomfortable around her.

It was unavoidable.

Ignoring the small stirrings in her heart, Delnia lay down. Lying with her back to Margaret was her way of being considerate.

But Margaret, who would normally hurry to finish her work and go out, seemed to be lingering for some reason.

Just as Delnia closed her eyes, trying not to be aware of Margaret's presence,

"Delnia..."

It was a cautious call, but it was enough to make Delnia sit up again.

Margaret was looking away from Delnia, but the distance between them, which had been somewhat far apart a moment ago, had grown considerably closer.

Delnia looked up at Margaret, who was standing close to her bed, with somewhat unfamiliar eyes.

It had been quite a while since she had seen Margaret's face this close.

Usually, Margaret would quickly move away as soon as their eyes met. She didn't even try to approach her unless she had to.

In that moment when the sudden closeness felt unfamiliar, Margaret opened her mouth hesitantly.

"About this medicine... Are you going to throw it away without taking it?"

Delnia's eyes widened in surprise at the unexpected question.

No one had ever scolded her for not taking her medicine. They had simply taken away the remaining medicine without saying anything.

Even Leticia had never brought up the subject, so Delnia couldn't help but feel flustered.

Nevertheless, Margaret continued without hesitation.

"This is a very precious medicine. It's not something you can get just because you have money... I heard that the Golden Wheel doesn't give it to just anyone."

Yet, the tone implied she was asking if she really wouldn’t take it.  

While Margaret’s determination to persuade Delnia was commendable, it didn’t make Delnia nod in agreement.  

Above all, she couldn’t understand why Margaret was suddenly trying to persuade her.

Could it be...

"Oh, by the way, don't misunderstand—I didn’t say this because of anyone else. Neither Lena nor the Colonel... said anything to me about it."

Delnia didn't say a word, but Margaret waved her hands and began to explain.

"I just thought it would be good for you. I just wanted you to take it and feel better…”  

Even she must have felt her words lacked persuasiveness, as her voice grew softer and softer until it faded away. The already awkward atmosphere grew even more tense.  

Nevertheless, Margaret broke the uncomfortable silence once more.  

“Um… should I change your bandage?”

Though her intention to change the subject was obvious, Delnia nodded in agreement.  

She didn’t want to make Margaret feel awkward any further. Even if it meant wasting bandages that weren’t necessary.  

With her permission, Margaret quickly fetched a new bandage. Delnia quietly extended her left wrist to Margaret.

Margaret carefully peeled off the bandage layer by layer until the bare skin was exposed.

The wound, skillfully sutured by the doctor, was healing well. It still looked ugly, but it was better than when it was ragged.

For Delnia, it was a scar she had seen countless times. She had caused it herself, so she felt nothing special about it now.

However, unlike her, who had a blank expression on her face, Margaret was frozen in place, not moving at all.

Just as Delnia was about to question this incomprehensible behavior, she felt a slight vibration from her wrist.

"Margaret?"

Delnia's voice rose in surprise. But Margaret did not respond, keeping her head bowed.

Just as Delnia was about to call Margaret again, a hot water drop fell on her wrist, and her lips closed again.

Delnia lowered her head. The trembling of the hand holding her tightly was growing stronger.

Only then did Delnia realize that Margaret was crying.

Why?

Sudden tears overwhelmed Delnia with a sense of bewilderment unlike anything she had felt before.

"What is this...?"

At that moment, Margaret spoke.

"How could you tear your body apart like this? Didn't it hurt? If it hurt a lot, then you might have lost your strength... but how on earth did you...?"

Margaret sobbed as if she had suffered a terrible tragedy. It was a somewhat belated accusation to hear at a point when the wound had already healed.

But soon, Delnia recalled that Margaret had been avoiding coming close to her all along. Then this must be the first time she had seen the scar up close.

‘It does look ugly.’

As she realized that Margaret had every reason to be surprised, her embarrassment subsided, and she was able to speak calmly.

"I'm fine."

It wasn't a sincere statement. In fact, she didn't even know what was fine.

She just wanted to stop Margaret from crying.

But the crying didn't stop. Instead, Margaret glared at Delnia with tear-filled eyes and retorted,

"You're lying. You're not okay."

"...".

"You're not okay, that's why you're doing this... ”

Tears streamed down Margaret’s cheeks. It was the opposite of the reaction she had intended.

As Delnia hesitated, unsure of what to say next, Margaret struggled to suppress her intense crying and opened her tear-soaked lips.

“If this is how it’s going to be, then just run away.”