Misfortune 122

Chapter 122

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***

But could he truly have remained unaware of her feelings just by pretending not to notice?

He knew all along, didn't he?

“Roan.”

That he simply wanted to hear her call his name more often.

“Roan!”

He wanted her to call him by that voice, smiling at him as always…………

"Ugh······."

A hot breath burst from between his lips. Simultaneously, a transparent droplet plopped onto the frame.

“Because I couldn't not know how much the young lady liked my brother.”

The heart that hadn't changed even in the time he was gone tore him apart.

“Ever since you started liking the young lady.”

The emotion that had once burned fiercely in his throat, yet remained unnamed, returned like self-torture, crushing his knees.

'Yes. I planted it.'

Perhaps back then, he had wanted to say it so honestly. And he had wanted to smile back at her, who smiled so brightly.

But he never could. Things he should have said but never did piled up, piled up, until they crushed him completely.

"I..."

His voice, boiling with emotion, broke off abruptly.

All the way here, he had wondered. Why did he feel he had to go to Belfort? Why was he tormented by this feeling that he absolutely had to go?

Now, he thought he understood the reason he hadn't known himself.

He had to realize it somehow.

What he had lost. What he had shattered and destroyed with his own hands. What that heart was that he had smashed into pieces, ensuring it could never return to its original form.

What he did to her, and to himself.

"I……………."

The massive man collapsed as if crumbling. And for a long while, he couldn't get up.

***

Delnia opened her eyes to the clamorous laughter of children. She gazed at the ceiling, still unfamiliar, slowly awakening her dazed consciousness.

It had already been several days since she'd impulsively fled the mansion and taken refuge at Leticia's residence.

That day, when Delnia said she couldn't bear to stay at the mansion any longer, Leticia offered her private home. She persuaded Delnia, explaining that since Roan stayed at the mansion when he was in Blois, the house happened to be empty.

Delnia didn't refuse her offer. It was still Blois, but at that moment, escaping the residence felt more urgent than anything else. She desperately needed time alone, away from that man and his domain, to gather her thoughts.

And so, that night, Delnia impulsively left the residence. And she hadn't returned since.

Rubbing her sleepy eyes to shake off the drowsiness, she headed toward the long, narrow window.

Pulling back the curtains and opening the window, the first thing that hit her was the heightened clamor and a rush of salty wind.

When Leticia, having raised her children to independence, sought a modest house to live in leisurely, her one wish was for a balcony attached to her room.

Thanks to the fact that Delnia had not hesitated to undertake an extension just for her sake, Delnia too could enjoy this special space.

Closing her eyes to savor the sea breeze, she gently stepped out. The balcony was as cozy as the modest room itself, yet the view among the potted plants hibernating for winter held its own charm.

Especially gazing at the blue sea stretching beyond the tightly packed buildings, it felt refreshingly invigorating.

"Delnia! Are you up? Let's eat breakfast!"

Then, a voice calling her from outside reached her ears. It was Margaret, who had ended up rushing out of the mansion with Delnia.

"Yes, I'll be right down."

Delnia left the balcony, tied back the curtains for ventilation, and stepped out of the room. The modestly sized home meant she reached her destination in just a few steps.

Breakfast was already laid out on the table. Though it consisted only of warm bread, rich cheese, fresh wild strawberries, and milk, it was perfectly splendid.

Sitting down across from Margaret, who had already taken her place, Delnia awkwardly opened her mouth.

"You should have woken me up, Margaret."

"Oh, it’s nothing. I just bought these from the bakery and set it out."

"Still. It would have been nice if I had gone with you."

"It's fine. You've been having trouble getting up in the mornings lately, haven't you?"

It was simply the truth, yet Delnia felt inexplicably embarrassed, her ears flushing crimson.

For some reason, getting up early in the mornings had become difficult lately. When she was an aristocrat, it hadn't been an issue, but after her circumstances changed, she'd always risen late.

"Then I'll take care of clearing the table."

"Alright, I got it. Let's eat."

Margaret readily agreed, as if not wanting to stop her, and handed over the butter knife.

"Yes. I'll eat well."

Delnia left her thanks and carefully spread butter on her bread.

"It was noisy again late last night. Did you sleep well?"

"Better than I expected."

Last night, a large merchant ship had entered the port of Blois, keeping the neighborhood bustling until midnight.

Unlike the Barthez mansion, Leticia's residence was located right in the heart of the village. This meant that whenever something happened, they could feel the atmosphere firsthand—both an advantage and a disadvantage.

Still, Delnia rather liked this lively scene, something she could never experience in the always calm and quiet mansion.

"Still, it's a relief."

Margaret, who had been busily chewing, stared intently at Delnia and suddenly spoke up.

"Huh?"

"You seem to be sleeping well lately. Your complexion looks better too."

Was that so? Delnia gently stroked her cheek and tilted her head.

She hadn't really thought she was having trouble sleeping before, but seeing how light her body felt when she woke up, it did seem like she was getting deep sleep.

"Lately, I haven't been dreaming and I've been sleeping soundly."

"So you're not having nightmares anymore. That's good."

"………………Nightmares?"

Delnia asked, puzzled.

It wasn't that she hadn't had nightmares. It was just that she had no memory of ever telling anyone about them.

"Yeah. Every time I saw you sleeping, you'd be groaning and moaning, endlessly searching for someone. I wondered just how rough your dreams were."

"Ah……………."

Delnia's face flushed bright red upon learning about her sleep talking for the first time. She felt like she wanted to crawl into a mouse hole and hide.

But Margaret continued nonchalantly.

"It was especially bad when you were bedridden in the capital. So back then, the Colonel would come every night………………."

Margaret realized her slip of the tongue too late, biting her lip in alarm. But words spoken couldn't be unsaid.

And Delnia, surprisingly, wasn't startled at all.

She remembered the cool hand that had cooled her fevered body.

Perhaps she had already vaguely sensed it. Who that touch belonged to.

The hand that occasionally rescued her from terrible nightmares, the hand that thwarted her every time she was drawn to the darkness—ultimately, they belonged to the same person.

The time when that truth might have shaken her had long since passed.

"It's alright, Margaret."

Delnia reassured Margaret, who was watching her with concern, wearing a calm smile.

Since arriving here, Margaret had never once mentioned Roan. Since Delnia felt the same, not bringing up that name had quietly become an unspoken rule.

But Delnia didn't really care either way. She was truly fine now.

"Right. Anyway, what I wanted to say was that I'm glad you seem to be sleeping well now."

Margaret salvaged the conversation with an awkward smile. It was a remark implying that things were fine as they were, but Delnia nodded readily.

When had she stopped wandering through nightmares?

She couldn't recall precisely, but it couldn't have been that long ago. Still, she felt no urge to dig into the details.

She was simply at peace.

“Say it’s not! Say it’s not………………!”

The day she could no longer tolerate that man. Even as she stormed out of the mansion, she believed she would never shake off that searing rage, that even greater sorrow.

But nothing lasts forever before time, and the emotions she thought would never cool gradually subsided. And then, unexpectedly, she found herself feeling lighthearted.

It was different from the relief she'd felt just a short while ago. This time, it wasn't hollow.

It was simply refreshing, like taking a festering heart out of her chest, washing it clean in cold water, and drying it thoroughly in bright sunlight.

Perhaps she had poured out even the lingering resentment she hadn't realized remained, all that she had unleashed on him back then.

Of course, nothing was left untouched. It would be a lie to say she didn't want to ask why he had been so cruel, and how that could possibly be love.

But curiosity alone couldn't dig everything up to the end. There always comes a moment when everything must be put to rest.

And Delnia believed that moment was now.

Now, she felt she could even stop hating the feelings from the past she'd never understood.

Those feelings had once been so precious. She could now calmly acknowledge that there had been a time when that love had kept her alive. She could let that fact go without hurting anymore.

Just like a faded memory from long ago.

But to keep thinking that way going forward, she no longer wanted to see him.

They had to end now. It was the right choice for each other, and for themselves.