TFM 30

Chapter 30

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*Past

After that day, Talia began struggling to break free from the love that had hardened into a long-standing habit. She had fought before to carve out her feelings for him, but never with such desperation.

She shoved the dress he had chosen deep into her closet and pulled out the one he had frowned at the moment he saw it. She began attending the regular banquets held at the Empress's palace.

Naturally, her escort knight, Varkas, had to follow her into the revelry of these disorderly nightly festivities.

For him, who had received an education akin to that of a monk until the age of fourteen, it must have been a scene of utter contempt. It was no comfortable place for Talia either. Within the hall filled with her mother's devotees, she was treated as a mere miniature model of Senevere.

They viewed Talia, with the face of an empress on the body of a young girl, as an intriguing toy. Many showed overt interest. Though she felt a deep humiliation at being treated as a substitute for her mother, Talia pretended to relish the attention showered upon her.

She wanted to show off to Varkas.

Look what you missed. I'll be more beautiful than Ayla. As beautiful as my mother.

She wanted to show him how many men desired her. Perhaps, deep down, she hoped he would stop her.

But Varkas, as always, silently fulfilled only his duty as her escort. Whether she mingled with men and drank herself into a stupor, or flirted with men twice her age, he didn't care in the slightest. That indifference only fueled the dangerous impulses that had taken hold of her.

He had guarded her for seven long years. Couldn't he show a little concern? Couldn't he try to stop her? That childish thought clung stubbornly to a corner of her mind, refusing to fade. She thought that if she could just completely ruin herself, perhaps she could shake off this foolish attachment.

She threw herself into despair, mingling with strange men. She allowed their strange acts—their admiring strokes of her hands, face, hair, or the bizarre act of pressing their noses against her neck.

It was unpleasant, being handled as if she were some porcelain doll. Yet, she didn't dislike the ecstatic gaze, as if they were intoxicated by something.

At times, she felt an exalted sense of being almost divine. When swept up in that emotion, not having a single Varkas seemed like a trivial matter.

She clung to that sensation. If she remained buried in this intoxicating time, that immature love would surely wither and die away.

She threw herself deeper into the trivial, messy games men and women played. She grew increasingly comfortable with the dangerous tightrope walk of exchanging suggestive banter and light caresses.

How long had she been buried in such precarious days when a southern nobleman named Magnus approached her?

At first, she paid him little mind. Though she attended the banquet hall every evening mingling with numerous men, not a single one had lodged in her memory.

But at some point, his name began to linger familiarly in her thoughts. The man had captured her attention in a rather peculiar way.

He treated her as if she were a young niece or a childish little girl. Sometimes he even offered advice as if genuinely concerned. Though initially annoyed by his presumptuous attitude, Talia gradually opened up to him. Unlike the men who tried to touch her at every opportunity, he always maintained a friendly demeanor while keeping a proper distance.

But that wasn't all. He acted as if he had no ulterior motives, cracking jokes as if solely interested in making her laugh, or bringing her gifts like toys or dolls instead of jewelry or revealing clothes. Talia gradually began to feel comfortable around him.

Perhaps he had sensed the child within her, starved of affection. He slipped into her vulnerabilities with alarming ease.

It was the evening four days before her coming-of-age ceremony that he shattered the castle of trust she had built.

Late at night, when Varkas was absent, the man arrived at the palace. Her suspicion at his unannounced arrival lasted only a moment. Seeing his cheerful, chatty face, her guard melted away like snow.

"Look at this, Your Highness! I finally got the puzzle I mentioned before!"

The man thrust a large toy box forward, exclaiming in an excited voice.

"Your Highness, you cannot imagine how much effort I put into obtaining this! I didn't even put this much effort into gifts presented to His Imperial Majesty!"

The man, who had been standing proudly with his nose in the air, suddenly scratched the back of his head awkwardly. He seemed to belatedly realize the rudeness of barging in at such a late hour.

"I had intended to present this on Your Highness’s birthday... but I must urgently leave the capital tomorrow, so I took the liberty of coming here despite the inconvenience. Please, forgive my rudeness?"

Seeing him droop his eyes like a wet puppy, Talia shook her head helplessly.

"Well, what can I do? Come in."

He stepped inside the palace with a bright smile. It was the first time she had ever allowed someone other than a guard or maid into the palace grounds. Suddenly, the palace's messy state felt embarrassingly chaotic.

She led him past the dusty reception room, unused for so long, to the study on the second floor. It was the most neatly organized place in the palace, aside from her own bedroom. There, they unfolded a chess table, sat facing each other, and began piecing together puzzle fragments.

She was so engrossed that she didn't even notice the man sitting opposite her had his knees positioned right beside hers.

Talia focused all her attention on connecting the tiny pieces to form a pointed castle tower.

To help her, he leaned in close, fixing the small pillars into place. Finally, one castle tower was complete. Talia smiled with satisfaction. Then, suddenly, she realized he was too close and her expression turned awkward. He was pressed so close that his breath, heavy with the scent of wine, tickled her forehead.

She shifted uncomfortably. But abruptly pulling away would surely create an awkward atmosphere.

Talia carefully turned her body sideways, pretending to search for another puzzle piece in the box the man had brought. Then he moved behind her, wrapping his arms around her waist as if embracing her, and began rummaging through the box.

"Here it is."

Talia stiffened. His long, muscular arms tightened around her waist. Feeling his hot, damp breath pour over the back of her neck, she hunched her shoulders as much as she could. Fear of this unfamiliar situation made her heart pound. Yet, strangely, no sound came from her mouth.

He pushed his arm deeper into the box, pressing his body closer. Taia barely managed to squeeze out a voice.

"Let... let go of me..."

"Just... just a moment. Your Highness... you smell so sweet."

He pressed his nose against her shoulder and drew in a deep breath.

Talia felt every nerve in her body tense. Her skin grew damp with cold sweat, and goosebumps prickled up her spine.