Deceived 49

Chapter 49

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08. Self-Awareness

When Blair opened her bleary eyes that morning, the bedroom was eerily quiet. Lying alone on the bed, she stared blankly at the ceiling. Even hearing the birdsong drifting in through the open window, the events of the past night still felt unreal. That yesterday had been her wedding day. That she had spent her wedding night. Even now, looking back, that unbelievable wedding night…

She turned her head slightly. The bedding on the adjacent spot was neatly made. When had he left the bedroom? She remembered him washing every part of her body, which felt like a limp rag, unable to move a single finger. 

But she had fallen asleep first, so the memory of lying down in bed with him was hazy. Edmund had locked the door, so it was certain they had stayed in the same bedroom last night…

"Haa..."

She sighed, pressing her fingers to her forehead, then suddenly felt the weight of the rings on her left hand. 

Raising her hand into the air, the large diamond engagement ring and the wedding band stacked below it sparkled in the morning sunlight. Those two layers of metal reminded her of the limits and expiration date of this relationship.

How could she have done such a thing without drinking a drop of alcohol? It might have been forgivable between husband and wife, but they weren't a real couple. They weren't even lovers. In fact, just days ago, Edmund had coldly drawn a line, telling her not to concern herself with his private affairs.

Yet it felt wrong to say she'd been swept up by him. He was the kind of man who'd back off if she pushed him away. In other words, Blair hadn't disliked it either. Now that her senses had returned, her face flushed, but she felt no regret.

Why? It must have sprung from pity for Edmund and the long-held desire to hold him close. And, and…

As her thoughts continued, a knock sounded at the door.

Pushing aside the covers and rising, Blair realized she was still completely naked. Only then did she see the bright red marks left on her chest and gasp in horror. In a hurry, she grabbed the silk robe she'd taken off the night before and slipped her arms into it. Her hand trembled with tension as she opened the door.

She wondered if it was the maid bringing breakfast, but it wasn't. The moment she saw the man appearing through the doorway, Blair flinched. His gaze was devoid of all the vulnerability of the previous night. Looking up into those eyes, Blair held her breath silently.

Edmund, who had been about to speak, closed his mouth. His gaze, faintly subdued, swept over Blair's thin gown.

"Shall I come back a little later?"

"...Is it urgent?"

"No. I just have something brief to say."

"Then come in."

Blair pulled her robe tighter and stepped back. Thud. The bedroom door closed, and he shuffled inside. Then, glancing around casually, he said.

"Haven't you had breakfast yet?"

"...No, not yet."

"You slept in. Not like you."

"I was quite tired."

Blair replied, then added provocatively.

"The very person who made me that way last night is right here."

"Ah."

Only then did a playful smile spread across the man's previously expressionless face.

"I didn't realize you'd collapse from exhaustion so easily."

"I had to get up at dawn yesterday to prepare for the wedding."

"I see. I'll keep that in mind from now on."

Edmund nodded lightly and stood up. Anticipating the main topic, Blair faced him and carefully adjusted her sheer silk gown.

"I'm attending a hunting party with acquaintances tomorrow. It's at the Marquis of Lancaster's country estate outside Borsa, so I'll be staying there for two nights."

"So I must accompany you, then."

"Of course. You are my wife."

A peculiar obsession resonated in the voice that emphasized the reason. After a brief pause, Edmund continued.

"I felt it necessary to inform you because an unpleasant face is expected to attend. I thought it best for you to steel yourself a day earlier."

Isaac Doman was coming. Perhaps Nicoletta Underhill too. And the gossipmongers who loved to whisper about those entangled in the scandal. Truly, the mere thought of it was uncomfortable.

But fulfilling the banquet schedule as a nominal couple was a clause mentioned from the very start when he first brought up the contract, so Blair had no right to refuse.

“…It certainly helped. Thank you for letting me know in advance, Edmund.”

“You’re welcome.”

Edmund lifted the corners of his mouth faintly. The conversation ended there. Since Blair hadn’t even had breakfast yet, he made a move to leave quickly, and feeling an impulse, she blurted out.

“Um, about last night.”

The only regret was that she hadn't had time to gather her thoughts.

"It wasn't something I did in a fit of anger."

Her cheeks flushed despite herself. Blair looked up at the man with his impassive face, trying her best to steady her trembling. She wished she'd at least put on some proper clothes before facing him.

"It bothers me a little... a little to just let this pass as if nothing happened. I wanted to make sure."

"What exactly do you want to make sure?"

"Our relationship."

"Our relationship."

The man repeated it calmly, showing no sign of needing time to think, unlike Blair. His answer came immediately.

“It wasn’t a spur-of-the-moment thing for me either. But defining our relationship based on one night seems a bit hasty, don’t you think? After all, the contract comes first.”

“……”

“But I can’t help but ask. How would you like to define our relationship, Miss Blair?”

He asked in a serious tone, as if he’d readily accept whatever answer she gave.

“Is there something you want from me?”

That’s why Blair’s lips remained tightly sealed. How could she explain this feeling she couldn’t even name? She felt like a fool. A fool who’d let herself be swept away by her guardian’s influence from the very first day of marriage, unable to gauge the boundaries.

“…No. There isn’t.”

After a silence, Blair shook her head. Her heart pounded wildly at the obvious lie. Even knowing she was lying, Edmund didn't press further.

"I'll call the maid now. Eat and rest for a while."

"......"

"It would be best not to overexert yourself today."

Then he turned and left the bedroom. Left alone, Blair finally grasped how foolish a confession she had swallowed.

***

The Marquis of Lancaster's country estate, where the hunting party was to be held, lay over an hour's drive from the capital, Borsa. Having set out from Eldenvale, they would need to ride steadily for a good two hours.

"Are you tired?"

Blair flinched at the voice beside her. Edmund seemed concerned for her, having started the journey early that morning. It was a perfectly reasonable question, yet she flinched unnecessarily.

"I'm fine. Should I take up a gun and join the hunt?"

"There's no precedent for a lady participating in the hunt, but if Miss Blair is interested, it's certainly possible."

"No. I cannot intrude upon a gathering where gentlemen share their pastime."

For her, learning to shoot was far more intriguing than chatting with a group of ladies. Above all, she longed to be by his side, but she resolved not to let that desire take precedence. Edmund had clearly drawn the line, stating the contract came first, so she had to respect that boundary.

"We've arrived."

As silence lingered, the carriage halted before the Marquis's country house. Stepping out, they entered the house guided by footmen. The hall was filled with those who had arrived earlier, and as Edmund had warned, some wore unwelcoming expressions.

The moment his eyes met Blair's, none other than Isaac Doman immediately raised his eyebrows.