Chapter 128
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Felix moistened his dry lips with his tongue and checked the time.
The clock hands ticked away. The second hand moved with exasperating slowness. He couldn’t keep still, as if itchy insects were crawling all over his bare skin.
But he had to be patient. He couldn’t rush and ruin everything.
Felix had long imagined this very moment.
The day he would snatch her away once more, right here—a place that was practically Diana’s final destination—after she had returned of her own accord.
Dortes Castle was a trap set to capture her. Felix had willingly volunteered to be the sentinel of this massive trap.
The fact that he had not been seen in public for thirteen years, and that very few people knew his face, gave him freedom.
While portraits—bearing little resemblance to his actual features—spread far and wide through the brushes of street artists, Felix moved freely in and out of the empire without hesitation. The knights of the Dortes Command would never in a million years guess that the man who had suddenly taken command, bypassing the former commander-in-chief, was none other than the Emperor himself.
His first move was to lift the restrictions on the Dortes colony. He drastically reduced security at the checkpoint in nearby Kairam so that settlers could come and go freely—ensuring she could enter Kairam without difficulty.
On the other hand, he exercised caution regarding the issuance of passes for the capital, Mepen. This was so that he would know immediately if Diana set foot in the royal palace.
Exactly one year and one month after the day she left, Felix’s trap bore fruit.
“I am Let, a servant of Lord Senz Rossi. I have come in response to your summons.”
The moment a petite woman, clad in layers upon layers of rags that barely resembled clothing, opened the door to the Commander’s office and stepped inside, he knew. He had no choice but to know. It was a proposition as undeniable as the sun being the sun and the moon simply being the moon.
It was Diana.
There was no need for any special verification. It took less time than a second’s tick to discern the mysterious woman, like a water nymph, hidden within the shaggy-haired, pockmarked young man.
What mattered wasn’t the clumsily thrown-on disguise, but the essence hidden beneath it. Her cautious gait, the soft patter of her footsteps, the gaze that carefully scanned the atmosphere, and even the angle at which she bowed to her superior—all were exactly the same as the woman he remembered.
It was a disguise so shoddy it was almost laughable, but considering she had lived as a blind woman for quite some time, it was understandable. Diana was someone who could not even see herself; in a sense, she was even more ignorant of her own identity than Felix was.
“An exile from Ormance. Where in Ormance were you born?”
“I was born and raised in Elzeira, in the southwest.”
“What is your relationship with Lord Senz Rossi? Is it close enough that he gave you his travel permits?”
“He is my brother’s and my employer. We haven’t been working for him very long. We recently moved here from Dortes…”
Yet there was definitely something unfamiliar about Diana as she recited details he didn’t know. The moment he sensed the unease rising from the depths of his heart, Felix set down the teacup he was holding. The loud crash of shattering glass immediately drew the woman’s attention back to him.
Come here. No sooner had he muttered this to himself than Diana took a step forward.
She approached with her characteristic quiet, light gait and took Felix’s hand. It was his right hand. As if it were something precious, Diana wrapped her hand around the one he had broken and brushed the glass shards away.
When did she ever let go without even looking back? And now she’s doing this? For a moment, an unbearable mix of love and hate boiled up within him, only to vanish as if washed away. It was the moment he caught sight of the reflection in her eyes. Before he even realized it, he was lifting Diana’s chin.
They said the soul resides in the eyes, didn’t they?
Her pale green eyes, as clear and transparent as dewdrops on a blade of grass, met his gaze without a single flicker of hesitation. Felix was so breathless he couldn’t speak. The words swirling in his mouth dissolved like sugar in water.
Finally, a pure sense of wonder welled up in her eyes, which held him in their full gaze. Diana stared at him as if spellbound. “I saw him.” For the first time.
It was as if his voice had clumped together beneath his Adam’s apple; sphe couldn’t make a sound… The lump that choked his throat was likely a beastly groan or a cry—or something in between… something truly immense.
An unknown emotion, so immense it could bring a person to their knees—something he had never experienced before. Relief, fulfillment, a sense of accomplishment, awe. Yet it was none of those things, and yet it encompassed them all… In other words, love.
Love. An emotion that could not be clearly defined by any single word enveloped him in a kaleidoscope of colors. He didn’t even realize the strength building in his hand as he caressed her cheek.
He was simply, utterly enraptured. So much so that even after she was gone, he couldn’t move from his seat for a long while.
“That’s how it was, at first.”
Felix opened his desk drawer and dropped a rough sketch inside.
The drawer was already piled high with hundreds of sheets of paper. Beneath lines tangled like spiderwebs, a distinct name was written. It wasn’t just one.
Diana. Diana. Diana. Diana. Diana.
Diana. Diana. Diana. Diana. Diana.
Diana. Diana. Diana. Diana. Diana.
Diana. Diana. Diana. Diana. Diana.
Diana. Diana. Diana. Diana. Diana….
Once the initial thrill of their first eye contact had subsided somewhat, Felix sensed something off about her.
The look in Diana’s eyes as she looked at him was different from what he had imagined.
“You’re a terrible person.”
Since she had tossed those words at him as a farewell, he naturally assumed she would be looking at him with resentment, hatred, or perhaps fear and anxiety. He had assumed she would have a look like that. The very same look he had seen on that storm-swept cliff.
So Felix had truly imagined every possible scenario. Should he tie her up the moment he found her? To prevent her from self-harming or attempting to jump again? But there was the precedent from last summer, when he had already done that and it had led to the worst possible outcome.
The woman who had fallen right into the trap he’d set was still his. But this time, something had to be different. But what, where to start, and how on earth should he change things?
In the end, all that agonizing was pointless.
Diana looked at him with unfamiliar eyes.
As if she were looking at a complete stranger.
Then she quietly lowered her gaze.
“If you have… any instructions.”
All he could read in her clear, pale green eyes was a hint of admiration and wariness—nothing more. Diana did not recognize him.
It was only natural; she had never seen him before. At most, she had traced the contours of his face with her fingertips… She had even said it herself once.
“It’s a good thing I don’t know your face.”
The moment he realized this, Felix understood why Diana had let go of his hand so easily on that rain-soaked cliff. In her world, he had never existed as a living being to begin with.
From the very beginning until now, not even once had Felix existed as a tangible presence in Diana’s world.
That was why she had been able to erase him so easily.
‘Erase….’
He felt an indescribably terrible sensation. It was similar to the murderous intent that surges when faced with something utterly intolerable.
But he quickly shook his head. No, that wasn’t it. Even if he didn’t exist in a visual form, it was clear that he was imprinted on Diana in some way. How could it be otherwise? There were countless nights when they had become one, entwined.
Yes, at the very least, her body would remember.
Felix managed to pull himself back from the brink of a downward spiral.
He already knew how to revive the memories etched into Diana. She was sensitive to all her senses except sight. Her sense of touch and hearing, in particular, were exceptionally keen.
So a voice would be enough.
A voice that would identify him —just one word, no more, no less.
Even though he knew the answer, he hesitated for days. It was because he still couldn’t clearly picture what would happen after he revealed his existence to her.
If Diana recognizes me, how will she react?
“You’re a terrible…”
A headache set in. He barely managed to shake off the image of the woman’s face, which clung to his mind like a nightmare.
Night had fallen without him noticing. Felix rested his arms on the windowsill and leaned his upper body out the window.
Every evening, just as the sunset light was fading and twilight was settling in, if he looked down at the castle grounds from this very spot, he could see her emerging with a pile of trash.
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