Chapter 137
***
At that time At that point, Ormance was Diana’s only reliable ally. However, Ormance did not possess particularly formidable military strength compared to the surrounding major powers. Since Ormance alone would be insufficient to stand up to the Empire, she needed to secure other friendly nations.
However, the intentions of the other kingdoms were far from reassuring. This was especially true of Grenia and Lelon. Given their belligerence—evidenced by their audacious provocation of violence in Kairam, where Karman’s troops were stationed—the possibility that they might subdue Karman and establish a new command post in Dortes could not be ignored.
At least for now, Delos was adopting a cautious, wait-and-see stance, so perhaps Diana might even be able to win over the Kingdom of Delos to her side… She must not rashly trust those who approach pretending to be allies. Diplomacy was a game where people might laugh and cry happily to your face, only to stab you in the back the moment you turned away.
Diana really needed to realize this soon. Since she couldn’t get in touch with Elliot, who had gone into the Spring, there was no proper way to convey the external situation to Diana.
Ianna let out a deep sigh.
‘She’s a smart girl, so she must have a plan. But something about Grenia’s movements doesn’t feel right….’
Would the gains from allying with the Grenians who caused the bloodshed in Kairam truly outweigh the losses?
That was for Diana to decide. Even knowing this, Ianna couldn’t easily shake her worries.
***
Tension began to rise once more in the Mepen temporary command headquarters, which had been as quiet as a grave. The Commander, who had stood motionless on the bridge leading to the royal castle until night fell, had returned.
“You’re back, Commander? I was just about to report to you. I’ve already briefed His Grace Duke Christen on the situation, but—”
Deputy Commander Pierre spoke as he hurriedly followed the Commander-in-Chief—no, the Emperor. The man’s strides were so long that it was difficult to keep up, even at a brisk pace.
Still, he had to report every detail of the incident that had unfolded in the heart of Kairam City since late afternoon. Pierre did his best to continue.
“We have confirmed that the rioters are Grenians and that they are royal stooges. Shall we send an ultimatum to the Kingdom of Grenia?”
Pierre glanced sideways at the man’s profile and was startled. The Emperor’s face was covered in cracks.
Felix, who had been biting his lip the whole time, roughly ran his fingers through his hair. His mind was in turmoil, filled with thoughts of Diana and the words she had poured out.
More than anything else, her expression.
“Because I love you?”
Had the words he had spoken been so painful that they brought such a miserable look to her face? Diana, who had been staring at him as if refusing to believe it, soon twisted her face into a grimace and laughed. It was almost indistinguishable from crying.
“So, did it not matter if the child died?”
Spitting out those words as if vomiting bile, Diana closed her eyes. Her wet eyelashes and trembling lips were filled with regret and disillusionment.
As if afraid Felix might beat her to it, Diana added haphazardly.
“Of course, you don’t feel any regret or sadness. It wasn’t what I wanted, and since Master wouldn’t have wanted it either, it was probably much better that it just disappeared. It was probably so small it was hard to even call it a human anyway.”
“Diana, just hear me out first.”
“What explanation? When you burned down the hunting grounds and locked me in the main palace, I had constant stomachaches and chills. I was terrified that all my friends had been engulfed by the flames and died, but it turned out that what had truly vanished forever was something else entirely. I was sick for several more weeks after that, taking medicine constantly, and yet my master never gave me a single word of explanation, not a single word….”
“…….”
“Why didn’t you tell me?”
The more she spoke, the harder it seemed for her to control her emotions. The dam Diana had been holding back with all her might finally crumbled. Finally breaking down in tears, she whispered with great effort.
“It’s not just that. Why didn’t you give me the antidote? You could have gotten it anywhere if you’d really wanted to.”
“…….”
“Why did you lock me up, treating me like a woman who’s only needed in bed… Why did you treat me that way? Didn’t you know that treating a person like that could kill them at any moment? Really?”
He had no answer to give.
If she asked if he hadn’t known, he would have no choice but to say yes.
“Did you really not know that I would jump at any time, anywhere? That it was a terrible, terrifying thing….”
“…….”
“How could you only realize this now?”
Diana didn’t even seem to realize she was addressing him by his old title, “Master.” She had simply let her intense emotions spill out; she didn’t seem curious about Felix’s response at all.
It was a relief. Even now, back at headquarters, Felix still couldn’t think of the answer he should have given her.
Why hadn’t he told her about the miscarriage? Several fragments of thought surfaced mechanically. At the time, Diana had been in an unstable state. Back then, when the future was unclear, she had already suffered a mental shock, and her body had grown quite weak. Knowing about the miscarriage wouldn’t have helped her recovery in the slightest.
After all, what had taken root in her womb was a tiny being that could hardly even be called a “child.” So there was no need to attach any significance to it, nor to be honest about it.
But looking at it the other way, there was no need to go so far as to lie to hide it.
Then why did he hold back? What would happen if he told the truth?
Felix actually already knew the clear answer.
He feared Diana would resent and despise him. Why did he fear that? Well, did he feel anxious even then?
Behind the sofa in the temporary command post lay a large canvas he had brought from the palace. Felix pulled back the cloth covering the canvas. She was in the one and only painting he had brought with him from Karman to this place.
This was a painting Felix had created while a life was dying inside Diana.
Was he anxious? Yes… he supposed he was. Felix slowly retraced the past as he gazed at the painting of a woman half-submerged in the river.
Ever since he realized that Diana was the one and only human with a close connection to the spirits, he had been anxious that she might vanish from his arms like a drop of water. That was because he instinctively knew that Diana was a woman he could not hold onto unless he gripped her more firmly, more tightly. Though he had never clearly recognized or admitted it in his own words, he was subconsciously certain.
This woman could fly away at any moment, the moment she saw an opening.
So what did he do? Ah, the antidote. When he saw Diana repeatedly getting hurt and collapsing as she relied on her fingertips, he debated giving her the antidote but ultimately decided against it. Why did he do that? His thoughts, tracing back from the tail end, finally reached a certain point.
‘…The hunting grounds.’
He recalled the order he had tossed off to the former captain of the guard, who was still alive at the time.
“The forest of the hunting grounds… What exactly do you mean, Your Highness? Would you please repeat the order? I’m afraid I don’t quite understand…”
“Burn it. Everything near the riverbank.”
The guard knight withdrew quietly without asking for an explanation. That hunting ground, which had been burned to ashes back then, was the place Diana had begged him to take her to time and again. He had burned it all to the ground, fearing she might disappear through the river there. He made sure Diana never found out about the forest turning to ashes.
So, did the rift between them begin that day?
No. Looking back, it was a little earlier than that.
When he found out Diana was from Hilde, he was furious to the tips of his hair. That’s why, even after the deadline he’d promised Diana had passed, he didn’t rescue her from Eisen’s clutches. Even then, Diana cried a lot and fought back.
So, did things go wrong from that day on?
He still wasn’t sure. Felix couldn’t fathom where the root of the problem lay.
“I never want to see you again.”
Those were the last words Diana left behind. As if severing the single, fragile thread that connected them, she turned her head away first and walked back toward the Spring. Felix never managed to take a single step into her space.
It was hard to breathe. Felix clenched his jaw with his stiff right hand. Hallucinations swirled chaotically in his mind.
“You’re a terrible person.”
“I never want to see you again.”
It felt like he’d become a lost child. Without realizing it, his fingertips brushed against the rough surface of the canvas.
“So you didn’t care if the child died?”
Did he?
How did he feel when he heard the news?
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